I think I’ve said this before, but I will say it again.
For me, one of the hardest parts about being overweight is that everyone else can see it.
No matter where you go, your weight goes with you. You can’t hide it. It changes the way that people respond to you and it can change the way that you see yourself.
I was in the tenth grade the first time I felt overweight. I overheard a boy make a comment to a girl in our class about how I was fat and ugly.
I didn’t care that he thought I was ugly because I knew that beauty wasn’t everything, but I had no idea that anyone thought I was fat. I knew what fat looked like to me, and in my mind I did not fit that profile.
I think that’s the day that I started to change the way that I dressed.
I stopped wearing anything that remotely fit. Sleeveless shirts were only worn under shirts with sleeves. It may have been 100 degrees outside, but I was not going to wear a pair of shorts. I had fallen out of love with my body.
Fast forward a lot of years and not much had changed.
and then Independence Day came…
July 4th 2014, was the first day in years that I wore a sleeveless shirt outside of my house. I had not planned to. I wanted to wear a cardigan with it, but the cardigan I had didn’t match.
I went out to breakfast and amazingly, while I felt completely naked, no one else seemed to notice. Everyone got their food and no one stared. I felt alive.
So what happens now?
I become an exhibitionist! I stroll around naked! Nah, just kidding.
I’m still fat, but now I can wear sleeveless shirts!
I am learning to love me in every size.
If someone was to stare at my lovely stretch marks on my arms I would be okay with that. That would mean I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and I couldn’t do that before.
I’m smiling right now because I’m still on this journey, and it’s a good one.